Liz Phair - Why Can't I? Lyrics Meaning

The first 23 years of my life I fell through the cracks, not good looking but not shy, just confident enough to be a frequent friend, but nobody's dream....then I moved to LA and about the same time I met my future wife and my best friend a few months appart...i love both but could not love both yet at home I was with one, at work I was with the other, I fell in love with my best friend and broke up with her and almost divorced my wife 2xs and uet I have been married to her almost 30 yrs. Yet when I think of my best friend I can't breathe and I have butterflies in my stomach and I still dream of her, during the day I love my wife and kids and go to work. Funny how life can be.