Alice In Chains - Hate To Feel Lyrics Meaning

Layne always abhorred his drug use in my opinion, he sang about how terrible it felt to be dependant on substances. This song resonates deeply with me because of the pain that comes with being an addict with a good heart; you have good intentions, but "the road to heaven isn't paved with good intentions", and you find yourself constantly living in hell. Feelings are there, but everyone stares at you with empty, uncaring eyes, like you aren't human and don't deserve to have any rights, even the right to live.
Some people can't handle impulses, and if you hate what you are it doesn't help when others blindly hate you as well, which only feeds the cycle and keeps you further from taking care of yourself and dealing with the seemingly insurmountable problems.
The old man part is most likely about the genetic link of addiction and mental illness, my worst fear is being like my father, whom committed suicide at the young age of 31 while I was still but a child. He was an amazing father, but when I see the characteristics that I've inherited from him I feel conflicted about whether to be proud of it, or ashamed and terrified that I may end up like him.
Alice in chains used to make REAL music that touched on subjects that help people who struggle to not feel like they're alone in the struggle, and I know Jerry made most of the music (he's an amazing musician), but Layne's (very personal) touch of the dark side of humanity made it mean that much more to me personally.